This topic seems very current, or at least to me it is.
I don't know what it is about it, but I've been drawn to this topic lately. What with all the random posts, the quizzes, the lists, the advice being given. How do you know you are an introvert, how do you know you are an extrovert? I admit, I've done the quizzes, I've scanned the lists, I've tried to pin-point myself down to one or the other. I give up.
Those labels just don't work. They could be compared to another topic that is very current, gender identity, though I'm using this only for the comparison, to give a reference when I say that it should be treated as a spectrum.
Up until last year, I never felt the need to try to identify with one or the other. Then suddenly my life upended itself last year and I was left with reconsidering every single aspect of myself. Well, maybe it wasn't quite so dramatic, and maybe this shares more common points with a rant than anything else. I will claim no fine penmanship, nor will I say that this is a finite statement. It is simply my complete refusal of the up-until-now given definitions of the terms. If one was to believe what information is readily available, one would classify itself in one or the other. They are effectively diametrically opposites. I hate it. Maybe that's a bit harsh. I strongly dislike it. Better.
It seems to be agreed upon that it relates to where an individual draws its energy. An introvert would find social interaction draining and would need down-time to recover, whereas an extrovert would find it exhilarating. I call bullshit. It makes no sense. This is a completely subjective piece of writing, but I find that both can be equally draining or invigorating. Why? It's tricky, but I suppose it really depends on who/what/where/how. Who you are with, what you're doing, where it's taking place, how you're feeling, and so on. Let's use an example that I'm making up right now as I type. Say that you're in a bad mood, going to do an activity that you feel lukewarm about, it's going to put a damper no matter if you're by yourself or with other people. On the other hand, if you're really excited about visiting a new place, say you found some ruins a short bike ride away from town, or visiting a museum you've never been to, the experience is bound to be elating (at best) or at least inspiring, whether or not you're alone.
Obviously, sometimes you might want to explore completely by yourself, say if you want to go at your own pace, or you think that someone else wouldn't enjoy it as much, or want to wander around as long. Absolutely fair. Personally, if I'm finding that social interaction is straining, it means I'm not spending time with the right people. If I find that being alone is straining, it's because I'm not using my time in a way that is stimulating, and that pushes me forward. Maybe it's because I haven't had the leisure of free time for the past three years, and now I find that any time is sacred and should be put to good use. Maybe it's just growing up and figuring out what you find important, and investing time and energy in only a few things and people, rather than squandering your time on mediocre activities. It sounds really harsh, but this makes more sense to me than anything else I've read.
Another example, more concrete this time, and again subjective. One evening I was feeling particularly bored, and I decided to go out. I don't really know many people in Weimar, and I'm usually perfectly contempt staying in reading a book or working on my German, and so I was a little hesitant. Going out alone is definitely not something I do often, as I know that whoever I meet probably won't leave an impression beyond those few hours. At that point, I was still mildly associating with being an introvert. Anyhow, I went out to one of the bars, and lo and behold, I had a great time. With complete strangers. Actually, complete strangers with absolutely no common interests, as there happened to be a large number of PHD chemistry students in the bar... If you look at the this scenario from the intro/extro point of view, I should have found the experience draining. Which I did not. Not that I would invest any further time in any of them, but it's an interesting thought.
I think that this whole introvert/extrovert categorisation is just to give people excuses to stay in or go out. Because really, in the end, it's what you make of each individual experience that decides if you drew energy from it, or if drew energy from you. Everyone has had to go through unpleasant social situations or conversations that left them exhausted, and everyone has gone through days they spent alone, feeling even more tired than when they woke up. I really think that it is redundant to try and say that everyone falls in one category or the other. Sorry, not sorry, but it's silly to try and categorise people this way. This has been excessively annoying me, and I hope that I'm not the only weirdo out here who thinks this way.
I have been mulling over this for a while, and maybe I'm completely wrong. Actually, I'm not even entirely sure that my argument makes total sense. Maybe this is a very poorly constructed argument, or maybe I'm missing the point completely. I'm always open to different points of view and discussion. I hope this shed some light for some people, or that it sparked a few ideas, or that at least it was a well-spent five minutes.
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