Apparently the early twenties is the best time in a person's life for big changes, because at that time we're still fairly malleable and can easily bend this way and that to adapt ourselves to new situations, or stressful ones, or downright crazy ones.
It's insane to look back at the last two months, and wonder what the hell happened.
At the end of August, I quit a job that had since long stopped being rewarding, only to find myself with 3 part-time jobs two weeks later. Those three don't feel like jobs at all, and they are woven through my class schedule in such a way that I have (most) evenings and weekends off. And by off, I mean that I can be at the studio doing homework...
At the same time, I left a longtime partner, whom I thought to be "the one". Now I believe that the concept of "the one" doesn't even exist. In this state of me, myself and I, I'm learning how to be dependent on no one else for my own happiness.
Two weeks ago, I also suddenly found myself living alone for the first time in my life. That certainly caused a lot of anxiety.. I have to say, the thing I like the least about this situation is sleeping alone. I'm getting used to the other aspects of living in my own apartment (playing my music out loud at 1 am, leaving my stuff a little everywhere, organizing the kitchen my own way, putting up my posters wherever I feel...) but I just don't like being by myself at night. Why? Because I'm prone to nightmares and have an overactive imagination, and I watch too many horror movies. I'm sure that eventually I'll get more comfortable and won't have to sleep with the lights on, hopefully.
Two days ago I also moved into my new apartment. Let's just start afresh. New life, new place, new things to do. I like that idea.
In all sincerity, my apartment is still half-unpacked, an it will never be quite pristine. I can't stand the lack of mess, it feels sterile and lifeless for some reason. It might look like a giant pile of disorganized stuff, but I can tell you that I know where everything is, in every single pile that springs from the floor. I always need a little bit of chaos in my life, it spices things up and makes it more interesting.
Okay! Let's put on some music and get to work getting this new place set up.
Unpacking is going to be fuuuuuuuun. Not.At least I have an almost wide path to weave my way through the apartment now. And some cool lights in front of the window. Also, high slanted ceiling, because I'm on the top floor, right under the roof. It's actually super nice.
And what better to feel at home than some favourite posters? I put my calendar on the wall, and stared at it for a while. Starting to get anxious now. Exactly 15 school days left before the end of the term. SO MUCH TO DO STILL. I won't get much sleep in the weeks leading to December, that's for sure.
On the topic of December, can't wait to take the Christmas tree out of its box! I'll wait until the 1st, I promise.
This place does have one inconvenient: Carpets. Everywhere.
Since my level of clumsiness is well beyond 9000, I'll need to come up with a system to absorb possible spills. There's no point in trying to avoid them, I've only been here two days and I've already spilled macaroni on the beige carpet... Therefore, it is highly improbable that I won't drop more food on the floor by the end of the month.Luckily, in December I'll be done classes by the 3rd, last assignments are due on the 6th, and I'm staying in Halifax until at least the 13th. I'll have about a week of free time (woaww! free time, such a foreign concept at this point) to make a rag rug. I have a laundry basket full of the fabrics that I dyed last summer in my dyeing class, and they've been dying to become something more than a random collection of samples. Let's put them to use! And they're all natural fibres, mostly cotton. Yay for environmentally friendly! Then, if I feel the urge to clumsily spill my lunch on the floor, I'll be able to do so on something else than that beige carpet.
For now, I'll go back to my crazy schedule, and hope for the best.
